Can men and women be just friends?

Can men and women be friends? I really do not think there is a definitive answer to this question. I think is depends on the circumstances and the people involved. It also depends largely on the depth of the friendship.

If you are not attracted to each other, then it is simple. However, it is more likely to be the case that one or other of you are not attracted to the other person but not both. In my experience, if I am friends with a man, it is usually because I am attracted to him or he is attracted to me. It goes without saying that if the attraction is mutual, then a friendship will be difficult.

I think the real problem here is the connection and depth of the friendship. I think that it is difficult for a man and a woman to be friends if a real connection develops – and if the friendship develops depth. I think it is only natural – when a heterosexual man and a woman have any kind of relationship – to have a question mark hanging over the relationship...even subconsciously.

Would you be able to have a friendship with a member of the opposite sex without wondering – at least once – what it would be like to be with them?

If, however, you have already been with the person and it didn’t work, then perhaps a friendship could work. You tried it. It didn’t work. You’ve accepted that and moved on. As long as one or other of you is not still in love.

So I guess the answer is to befriend people you are not attracted to – which seems unlikely since connection is attraction and still doesn’t help if they are attracted to you – or ensure that those kinds of friendships remain reasonably shallow

thanks to

http://www.fb.co.id/blogs/6425/792/can-men-and-women-be-just-friend

there's no such thing as perfect love

Something that I think is essential information for anyone in a committed or long-term relationship
– or anyone hoping to one day be in a committed or long-term relationship is that things will not
always be perfect.
I know this sounds obvious, but you’d be surprised how many people enter into relationships and
marriages with unrealistic expectations. They think that if you love someone, that love will always
automatically be there and as long as the love is there, everything else will fall into place. That kind
of thinking puts a lot of pressure on the partner involved and indeed on the relationship.
The fact is, in any long-term relationship, love takes work. It needs to be nurtured. There will be
days when you wake up and don’t feel like being with that person. There will be times when you
look at your partner and think, ‘Who are you?’ or ‘I am not attracted to you.’
The important – and in fact, crucial – thing to remember here is that the feeling will most likely
pass. Of course, if you find yourself thinking that all the time, then maybe it is time to move on, but
in general, these feelings come and go in a relationship. It’s vital that you accept that as a normal
part of a relationship and don’t overanalyse it. Go with it and you will soon find yourself back in
love with that person wondering what happened and so grateful that you didn’t throw in the towel


Thanks to
http://www.fb.co.id/blogs/6425/789/there-s-no-such-thing-as-perfect

Just when you thought your love life was great..

What happens if you get married and for many years you are happily married until you meet the person you feel you should have married?

Is it really true that this is the person you should have married? Do we have more than one soul mate? Will we meet another person in another few years who could also have been the person we should have married? Is it that in the intervening years, you have changed? Or your needs and values have changed? Or is it that you didn’t know what you wanted until you met this person?

Whatever the reason, what do you do about it? It’s obviously imperative that you ascertain whether this feeling is really about the person involved or whether it is about something going on in your life. Maybe you are bored in your current relationship – and there is no guarantee that you wouldn’t be bored with this new person either in a few years. And if you are bored, you need to take accountability for that. Relationships don’t look after themselves, they need to be created and nurtured. Half of that is up to you.

But I digress: what happens if you genuinely believe that this new person is the right one for you? I think this must be one of the toughest decisions in life. It’s such a risk to leave your current partner and hope that the new relationship works. Could you live with your decision either way? There could be so much anger and hurt and yet, we only get one life, shouldn’t we be happy?

thanks to

http://www.fb.co.id/blogs/6425/791/just-when-you-thought-your-love

Eyes and Ears

Men fall in love through their eyes. They are attracted by beautiful things. That’s pretty obvious. In contrast, women fall in love through their ears. what do I mean? I mean a man can win a woman over by telling her the ‘right’ things...so that she hears all the ‘right’ things. So let this be a warning to all women out there: be careful ofsmooth talkers. These are the men that are brilliant at charming women. The know what to say and when to say it and how to make a women feel good. On the outside, it may sound like a good thing – and it can be if he is your partner and he only charms you, but these kind of men are usually not content with charming only one women. It’s a skill and a talent and should be used and enjoyed by many.

I am not suggesting that should you encounter one of these sweet talkers, you shouldn’t enjoy the attention – you absolutely should. But I do think that if you want to avoid a potentially hurtful situation, you should be aware of their charming ways. Make sure that before you react to anything they say, that you give yourself some breathing room and some perspective. You will find that once you are away from them, you think a little more clearly. And to all those sweet talkers out there...don’t stop. We love it. We just have to learn to be in control..